I just want to talk for a moment. This has nothing to do with spinning or teaching or writing or my family. It's all about me.
I have a problem.
I choose to do things that aren't good for me.
Not a lot of things. The things I choose are always food things.
I'm not a skinny girl. I never have been. But it seems I can't stop growing.
Four years ago I lost 50 pounds in about 10 months by signing up for LA Weightloss. it was good for me. There were guidelines and I weighed in 3 times per week and met with a counselor. I also talked to my sister almost every day. sometimes I cried and sometimes I celebrated.
When I got to the point where I should have been learning how to stabilize LA Weightlosss closed their locations. Within a year I had gained 30 pounds and now I am up 60 pounds from my lowest weight.
Here's the thing. I know what I did to lose weight. It was a balanced diet with 2 protein bars a day and less than 50 carbs.
Here's the other thing. When I eat a high carb diet I feel bad. I feel sluggish and bloated and just gross. When I have high protein and vegetables and keep my net carbs under 80 max I feel good. There are other symptoms but I won't go into that here:-)
Also, we have diabetes in my family and I am worried about it. I was diabetic with both of my last pregnancies.
So why oh why oh why don't I STOP?
Go to the movies - Popcorn and soda
home - kids are having ice cream and so am I
Shop - I forgot to pack my lunch and so it's fast food.
All bad things for someone who wants to control her sugar and also other bodily issues.
When I was losing weight I was shopping on a regular basis. My lunch was packed for the shop every morning. Most carbs were eaten in the morning along with a protein.
Now, I have begun and stopped doing this a ton of times over the past months. Why don't I just stick with it? Why?
I'm really disappointing myself.
If one of my kids were in this predicament, I would be encouraging them but also giving them the talk about hard work and how worth while things take time and doing a little each day really adds up.
Temptation is a terrible thing.
Tomorrow I am beginning again.
8 glasses of water per day
Less than 80 carbs
Tomorrow is a new day...again.